Pain, hangs over my shoulders. Agony haunts my dreams. Unaware why I'm feeling this way. I lay down, trying to understand how I’m feeling. Everyday, I’m tortured. I have no hope in life, no reason to move on. I have given up on everything. I feel as if I have no purpose in life. Ever think to yourself, who would miss you when you’re gone? For me, nobody is here for me now;therefore, nobody will care that I’m gone. I’m all alone in this world. There is nobody who can understand what I feel. I can be in a room full of multiple people, and still feel alone. I cry with agony, asking for someone to be there for me. Why me? Out of everyone I know, why do I feel this way out of everyone? I can’t be normal. I can’t be happy. I can only be depressed. The pain gets so bad. The mental pain affects my emotions. Is it that hard to smile? I could be so happy one moment, and burst out into tears the next. The pain also affects me physically. My body aches with soreness. My body shakes with anxiety. My stomach cramps with nausea. My eyes feel like 100lbs. I just want to sleep and never wake up. Ending my life feels like the best option. Why continue to live, if you can’t enjoy one day of your life? Everyday for me is hell. I’m hopeless. Why should I continue on? There is no point in life if every day gets worse. I can’t sleep anymore. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, crying about life. I’m restless all day, from the lack of sleep;however, I still can't get rest at night. I’ve lost all my concentration. I gave up on work, I gave up on doing well, I gave up on everything. I don’t have that motivation anymore. I’m not interested in doing anything. I rather stay home and lay down, instead of going out with my friends. I don’t want to do anything anymore.What is the use? I don't mind the constant pain everyday, I just want a purpose in life. Nobody wants me. Nobody wants to be friends with me, nobody wants to be like me, nobody wants to be with me. I just want to be wanted. I just want to mean something to someone. If I don't have a purpose in my life, can I be someone else’s purpose at least? Make me feel like i'm not alone. That someone is there for me, as i am also there for them.
I'm sorry for the pain I caused everybody else. I don't mean to hurt you guys I love you all. I'm sorry for being the way I am. I sorry for when I am. I sadly can't control it. Im sorry. It will all end soon. My life will be in the hands of the devil as I'm dragged into his land, I willingly go. My days will come to an end, and the annoyance of having me around with be over with. I'm sorry... Goodbye everyone. I love you Raymond. I'm sorry. The pain is too strong to handle.. I guess you were right, I am weak.
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